Photograph: Pexels-Karolina Grabowska
You thought that being an adult would mean you’d have it all together by now. You gave yourself deadlines (have a career by 23, married by 25, have kids before 30, own a home, etc.).
But life hasn’t turned out exactly as planned. You figured that all those insecurities of your teens and early 20’s would go away once you became a “real adult”, but they’ve only adapted to your current stage of life. Things still don’t feel settled, which causes you a lot of anxiety and fear. It scares you to plan too far ahead into the future because you aren’t sure if those goals are attainable.
Maybe you are in a job/career that doesn’t feel as fulfilling as you’d hope it would be. Or you’re in a relationship that isn’t really meeting your needs. Your friends are getting married, having kids, moving on to new things, and you can’t help but compare your life to theirs. You overthink about pretty much everything. You find yourself replaying conversations and your past in your mind, usually once you have some down time.
You have developed some anxiety in social situations that used to be much easier for you. Maybe you find it difficult to deal with confrontation, so you say “yes” to things that you don't want to do. You question some of your past decisions and feel paralyzed about making any big decisions about the future. Your favorite way to cope is to avoid and distract, whether that’s with work, social media, or staying busy at home. You know that things can be better, and should be better, but you just aren’t sure how to get there.
Photograph: Unsplash: Joel Muniz
Photograph: Unsplash-Mitchell Hartley
Imagine feeling fulfilled in your life; with your relationships, your job, and yourself. Being able to create boundaries for yourself and stick with them. To be able to say "no" without feeling like a bad person. Having more confidence in yourself and more clarity of your path in life. To feel like you have healthier relationships with others and yourself. Therapy can help you be your best self.
You’ve probably grown up with an idea of what therapy is. Whether that is some really formal “lay on this couch and tell me about your dreams while some takes notes” that you’ve seen in the movies. Or maybe you’ve thought that only people with “serious issues” go to therapy. Nope! Anyone can go to therapy to work on their personal growth and goals!
My style as a therapist is fairly laid back. I treat therapy more like a self care task than a medical visit. I think we need to prioritize our mental health as much as physical health. We start each session talking about the last week and then decide what issue we are going to focus on today. Sometimes we talk about heavy things, those insecure thoughts you have that you’ve never voiced and situations you’ve survived that you never fully processed. That is where the best growth happens.
Some sessions, we are talking about what is working well for you and try to figure out why things are going so well so that we can keep going. Therapy isn’t just about the tough times, the good stuff needs to be celebrated too.
Photograph: Pexels-Helena Lopes
Therapy can be heavy, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be fun or interesting too. If you saw an Instagram post or an article that really describes what you’re experiencing, let’s go over it together and process it. If you went to a party with friends and are feeling good about your outfit, let’s work on continuing to build your confidence up. Got into an argument with a friend and are unsure of how to move forward? Let’s dissect the disagreement and work on how respond in the healthiest way. Unsure about a date you just went on or if your current relationship is really working? We can talk about why you feel that way and how to proceed.
I’m not going to ask you to do a ton of therapy homework (though if you want podcast or book recommendations, I can recommend some stuff). But there will be small tasks to do occasionally between sessions, like practicing a new coping skill you’ve learned in sessions or setting a boundary with someone close to you.
I want you to enjoy coming to therapy sessions! Therapy is a place where you can be fully listened to, not judged, and be empowered. You will hopefully start to feel better about where you’re at in life and have more of an idea about the direction you’re heading. You can be more confident and be more assertive. You can set healthier boundaries with others and yourself to preserve your energy. You can have a solid self care routine to recharge when needed. You can build a positive work/life balance and feel more fulfilled overall. In therapy, you can learn techniques to help you become your ideal self. If you come to sessions and put in the work, you will get something out of it.
You know what you want out of your life, so let’s work together to unlock your potential and help you reach those goals together!